This is a strange feeling.


I've been studying my future and wanting my past. I'm planning whether I want to go be a model or go to college. I've been wandering the paths in my head, trying to discover what I did wrong.

Lately I've been feeling like a fool and a slave in my house. My mother, God love her, is getting on my nerves. I know it's me and I could fix it but it's annoying to the max when your morning greeting is, "I think I'm getting sick again, Will you go get me some envelopes?"

Of course I go, you won't hear a peep out of me about my concerns with her morbid outlook on life. I'm not going to explode, I'm just going to let it pass. But it doesn't. Every morning it will be the same thing.

I should make more of an effort to stay out of her way, but thats sort of hard when I feel indebted to her for getting rid of my father and raising me as a hard boiled Christian, on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. If you have ever been here, then you know it's beautiful and romantic and i can say for the rest of my life that I'm a native to these parts. Which just sounds awesome. Now I wish I looked like an American Indian.

Back to bigger fish.

I wish she, my mother, would slow the hell down. She always complains about how she never has time but if she did have time she would do something else. Other than having time you see.

It's frustrating to say the very least.

Ah. I'll be back later, I'm going to go do homework. yes I'm aware it's Saturday but I'm on a different calender than public schoolers.

Be back.

~S